Hear 4: Pamela Topjian

Today’s episode lingers.

I’m joined by Pamela Topjian, whose path winds through nursing, holistic healing, hypnotherapy—and a personal transformation shaped by trauma, resilience, and something harder to name. After more than a decade inside the healthcare system, she began to question not just how we treat illness, but what healing really means… and what might be missing.

This conversation is more than a career shift. It’s a story of survival, of leaving abuse, of reaching a breaking point—and stepping into the unknown. From a cross-country bus ride with nothing but hope, to guiding others through their own inner landscapes, Pamela’s journey carries the quiet weight of starting over when everything falls apart.

We explore the edges of traditional healthcare, the misunderstood nature of hypnotherapy, and the deeper pull that leads people to help others—especially after they’ve walked through darkness themselves.

This episode touches on domestic abuse, trauma, and moments of emotional crisis. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic/spousal abuse or struggling with suicidal thoughts, confidential help is available 24/7:

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Call or text: 988
Chat: 988lifeline.org

• National Domestic Violence Hotline
Call: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)
Text: START to 88788
Chat: thehotline.org

• Crisis Text Line
Text: HOME to 741741

• RAINN (Sexual Assault Support)
Call: 800-656-HOPE
Chat: online.rainn.org

• StrongHearts Native Helpline
Call: 1-844-7NATIVE (762-8483)

• Love is Respect (for young people)
Call: 1-866-331-9474
Text: LOVEIS to 22522

And if you would like to support Pamela's work, Please feel free to follow her Podcast or purchase any of her books linked here: 

Pamela Topjian YouTube 

Behind the Mask, Gloves and Scrubs

I Didn't come this far to only come THIS far

Transcript

0:03

Hey, I'm Eric and I'm here for you. Today's conversation is one that stays with you. I'm joined by Pamela Top Jan, someone whose life journey spans nursing, holistic healing, hypnotherapy, and ultimately a powerful personal transformation shaped by both trauma and resilience. After spending over a decade inside the healthcare system, Pamela began to question not just how we treat illness, but how we understand healing itself. What we talk about in this episode is more than a career shift. It's a story of survival, of walking away from abuse, of facing a breaking point, and choosing step by step to rebuild from a bus ride across the country with nothing but hope to guiding others through their own healing journeys. Pamela's story is a testament to what it means to start over when everything falls apart. We talk about the limitations of traditional healthcare, the misunderstood world of hypnotherapy, and the deeper truth behind why so many of us feel called to help others, especially when we've experienced pain ourselves. This episode's about healing. But not the kind that's quick or easy. The kind that asks you to look inward to face what's being buried, and to believe that something better is still possible. I hope you enjoy my talk with Pamela Top Gen.

Eric 1:42

what made you get into the holistic journey, your process? Like what makes you tick and why are you so involved with it?

Pamela topjian 1:50

I was a nurse for 14 years and only five years in I started realizing, that it really wasn't about healthcare. you know, kind of started looking more into more holistic and more natural methods of healing and less invasive methods of healing. And, but also before that, so I had, I had. Apprenticed with home birth midwives. I had my daughter at home in 1993, And so that's really like the natural, you know, it's as natural as you can get for childbirth. So even before nursing, you know, I was really involved in that. I had my son at 17 and I was really in how the whole process went at the hospital.

Eric 2:41

Oh.

Pamela topjian 2:41

I was looking into after that point for my next child, whenever that would be, to be more natural. And so that's kind of where it started, I think, is having my son at a young age and not being happy with the whole hospital experience.

Eric 2:56

Do you think it was more the people or the healthcare system in general? That was the issue.

Pamela topjian 3:01

I think it, so you're, thinking that maybe the people and not the

Eric 3:04

Oh.

Pamela topjian 3:05

I think the people mostly have, good hearts and have the right intentions. It's the whole system and they are working under, they can only do. What they're taught to do and what they're legally allowed to do, and they're, really tied by time. Usually. most hospitals, most nursing facilities are really understaffed and, They won't tell you that because if you say that to a patient, you're gonna get in trouble.

Eric 3:36

Yeah, I can imagine.

Pamela topjian 3:38

tell them we're understaffed, you know, but you feel like, you know, like, I'm rushing. I don't have the time to sit and talk about whatever. So, you know, you want to give them a reason because otherwise it seems like you don't care. So it's just really, you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.

Eric 3:54

That seems to be the case across the board, right? It's every time I've been to the hospital, it's been the same thing. I've been fortunate enough to have a very vibrant personality with my situations I've been in, which kind of helps with some of the nursing stuff, but you can always tell like, I can't imagine what you've seen and been through. You know, you're nursing for, 14 years. I can imagine that does something to the mindset, right? I mean, you've experienced the healthcare system probably at its worst, I would assume.

Pamela topjian 4:22

Yeah. Well it was during the pandemic is when I quit,

Eric 4:25

Wow.

Pamela topjian 4:25

just let my license go because every two years you have to renew it.

Eric 4:30

Oh.

Pamela topjian 4:30

so in 2021 was the time to renew, and I had decided to just not renew,

Eric 4:35

was that due to just the pandemic I can imagine,

Pamela topjian 4:38

was part of it, but it was really like the last straw. Like it had been building for a while, you know, like I said, five years in, I already knew

Eric 4:47

yeah.

Pamela topjian 4:48

I, at five years in, I was like a disgruntled nurse already, I wanted out at that point and I went into hypnotherapy. I took a course, for integrative healing arts and it was kind of a little bit of everything and hypnotherapy was part of that. I really saw how powerful that was and I really loved it. So I took that course but because of my life situation at that point I wasn't able to make that switch. I was married my husband was an alcoholic. he became abusive at the end and he was a truck driver and he sometimes was working, sometimes not. So I had to be the one to have the steady job. so I couldn't switch from. Nursing to hypnotherapy, plus it would be a huge pay drop, so I got that education, got that certification and everything, and I wasn't able to really use it. And then, 10 years later after that, Then I took another course and that was 2019, just before the pandemic. I started a course.

Eric 5:46

wow.

Pamela topjian 5:47

So it kind of just worked out that in 2020 I started taking, clients over Zoom and some in person. It was like at the very beginning of the pandemic where it was changing every two weeks, at least here. Anyway, it was,

Eric 5:59

Yeah.

Pamela topjian 6:00

I'd go to their house. somebody would be on their couch and I'd be, across the room and then it moved to zoom

Eric 6:06

and the, the 10 years that it took you from that point to get out, going into the pandemic side of things, were you still married? up until that point?

Pamela topjian 6:16

I was married, I'm married now, but it's a very healthy, respectful, you know, good marriage. but I have to say that I wouldn't be in this marriage if it wasn't for therapy. having said all that, my first husband, I was married, for 15 years, and he's the father of my daughter, And then we divorced after 15 years. He was abusive, but more in a, you know, verbally abusive, emotionally abusive and that, and while I was married to him is when I went to nursing school. So I was like already in my thirties or whatever when I went back to school.

Eric 6:52

Wow.

Pamela topjian 6:53

yeah. So then, I was married the second time for eight years and Like I said, he was an alcoholic. I found out later he was abusing drugs

Eric 7:05

Oh.

Pamela topjian 7:05

he was in and out of psychiatric hospitals and I found out that he was self-sabotaging his own wellbeing and I was trying harder for him to be, get

Eric 7:15

Oh, oh

Pamela topjian 7:15

And so I told him I was divorcing, but I was going to wait until he got himself. In a good position that I wouldn't leave him homeless,

Eric 7:25

yeah.

Pamela topjian 7:26

And, that was a big mistake because it ended up where he had beat me up and I

Eric 7:32

Oh.

Pamela topjian 7:33

unconscious on the floor. And at that moment I knew I had to leave so I called the police and. I was able to leave from there and I left a lot of my stuff. but then I was on my own for a year and I had a big major mental breakdown and I came to California from Missouri on a bus with a one-way ticket, and I was 50 years old.

Eric 8:03

It takes an incredible amount of courage, bravery, mental fortitude to do what you did and still have the heart that you have, right? Because you wanted to help these people. That's. I mean, no need to thank me. this is just facts, right? This is just who you are, which is incredible. if we had more people like you in the world, it'd be a better place because you just have an amazing mindset and heart for that. It seems like your whole life has been based on helping people, just this incredible fortitude of, you know, you went from being a nurse and then switching to pushing a dream and a goal of yours, but that's still helping people. What? What's that driving force?

Pamela topjian 8:38

a lot of people ask me that, and I've been thinking about that. I'm not sure. my childhood also was, I was neglected in my childhood. I had, some traumatic events happen in my childhood and I think that it might come from. not being taken care of myself. So seeing that, wanting to give sort of what I didn't get kind of a thing

Eric 9:02

Yeah.

Pamela topjian 9:03

I think might be part of it. And you mentioned, you know, nursing and, and hypnotherapy and, I'm doing pet sitting now, which is also kind of helping.

Eric 9:12

Yes.

Pamela topjian 9:13

before I went to nursing school, I had worked in daycare, taking care of babies Yeah, I think that's really mainly what I was doing. And then, when I had my daughter, then I started apprenticing with the midwives, which is, helping women in labor who want home births and, then that's when I went into nursing. So, yeah, I think it comes from. childhood and not feeling like I was ever taken care of and not wanting to have other people go through that maybe. I mean, that wasn't a conscious thought, but you know, like this past couple years people have been saying that to me. We've always been taking care of others. You know, whether it's people or people's pets,

Eric 9:49

Yeah.

Pamela topjian 9:50

but I don't know really where that comes from. I think that might be it.

Eric 9:54

That's, again, it's a fortitude to your mindset and to your heart. It's incredible,'cause it just having to deal with what you dealt with in the beginning. And then living through what you've lived through. I mean, I can see where a lot of people would just say this, you know, this world is cruel, it's unfair. And you've not only pushed past that, but you've helped many women, children, babies, you know, people love their pets like children. Right? And so you've. You've given back so much, and that's incredible. And you know, I think it's understandable that you, you have a, an assumption that you're like, oh, maybe this is where it comes from. But the fact that you don't solidify that and you're like, oh, this is definitely the reason why I do it. to me, it makes it feel a lot better. It makes it feel like you're genuinely have a good heart and you're just pushing to be better. I don't mean to take traction too far off from you, right? Because, your life is incredible. During this time and this process, through everything that was going on, how were your children? how were they dealing with kind of the fallout of all that?

Pamela topjian 10:52

At the end of my first marriage, my youngest, my daughter was just starting her high school. that's kind of when I thought I'll be, I can go back to school now. She's set, you know, it doesn't matter if I, she can come home from school and she'll be fine if I'm not able to be there right away. so, you know, they were already older when everything started really kind of. being disrupted. my son was already outta the house at that point. so then when I divorced and I moved, I moved in the same town and we were in a very small town, so my daughter, we kind of gave her the, option to just come and go wherever she wanted, whether it was her dad's or mine, and not like, try to have custody, like, not in the beginning anyway. I will say I was much too nice in that first divorce because I mean, I'm not gonna get into that'cause it's a whole waste of time and I have some anger around it and I don't wanna like, you know, push that forward. But, but yeah, I was too nice there. I will admit that.

Eric 11:52

The transition you did from, you know, working so well as a nurse and just realizing that the healthcare system just, it wasn't it and it was just falling apart. That's where you went into the hypnotherapy and that was just a small branch of what you were studying and you were going into.

Pamela topjian 12:08

Yeah.

Eric 12:08

Why specifically that? I mean, there's other things, right? You could have focused on the mid wifeing and all that in between, but why, what was so unique about the hypnotherapy that caught your attention?

Pamela topjian 12:21

Well, because it was really, there was, you know how there's the oath of first do no harm? There was no harm that could be done with hypnotherapy if by chance it didn't work for somebody. It still didn't harm them, and you're really working. people are, it's not you that's doing something or helping them. It's guiding them to go within and help themselves or to realize that they have it within themselves to heal or reach their goals or whatever it is they're trying to find, whatever they're looking for, whether it's self-discovery, whether it's healing, whether it's a spiritual journey or even something. Like just losing weight or quitting smoking or something. But it was so powerful. It could work so well for so many people and so non-invasive, it just to me felt like magic, you know? And it still does. I'm not taking clients anymore and I'm not doing that anymore. I gave it five years. but the main reason for that is because, I started a business. I gave it the five years and so 20 20, 20 21, 20 22, it was doing really well. And then 2023, it started dropping down. 2024. I took more classes trying to add to my certifications and stuff. And it still wasn't doing really well. And so I know that there's a big stigma with hypnotherapy and hypnosis, and people kind of have a negative mindset around what that is. And so having to explain to people every time what you're doing and why it's not, you know, me controlling your mind or something, Just that it's not an evil thing, it's not part of the occult, it's just so many things that it's not, there was just so many misconceptions and misunderstandings around it. And so in 2025, gosh, we're in 2026 already, so 2025. I said to my in like in January, I was like, so. Reflecting back on the year, you know, what is causing me the most stress right now in my life? it's trying to keep up with, the marketing and just entrepreneurship. So it wasn't hypnotherapy. The reason I stepped away from it, it was the entrepreneurship and all that goes with that.

Eric 14:44

Wow.

Pamela topjian 14:44

that was causing me the most stress. And I was already pet sitting on the side for many years. And that was building after the pandemic was over so that was really rising. It's getting a lot of business there. The hypnotherapy was going down and I even had a business coach and they were like, you know, why don't you, if you love the pet sitting as much as you love the hypnotherapy, and that's just organically growing without you really trying. Why are you calling the pet sitting your side business and the hypnotherapy, you're just putting all your effort into it. let things naturally go where they're gonna go. And so that's when, I was like, yeah, okay. And that sounds, reasonable to me. And then. noticed 20, 25, I barely had any clients. There was a lot of negativity around it, and it was just causing me a lot of stress on the daily as what can I do? What else can I do, and so my life now, I had a major mental breakdown after that second divorce,

Eric 15:49

Yeah.

Pamela topjian 15:49

that was like 2015. So several years before I went into hypnotherapy again. after that point, I was not willing to put my mental health at risk at all. when I say what's causing me the most stress, it's like my own piece within me is my biggest priority. it has to be, you know, When I gave that up, I do pet sitting full-time and I'm a podcaster YouTuber

Eric 16:14

I can understand where, some people can be hesitant about the hypnotherapy and the issues that come with it. that's, everybody's always so timid and afraid of what they don't understand.

Pamela topjian 16:26

the movies and that have given it a kind, you know, there's all these ads of, you know, getting in people's minds and magic and, you know, x-ray vision

Eric 16:35

yeah.

Pamela topjian 16:36

making people into zombies, all this bad kind of stuff, I put a lot of effort into it and, there's a statistic about five years, for new business. the first five years are gonna be rough, but then it should be, on the upswing. But for me it was on the downswing. Mainly because of what it was. so yeah. I gave it the five years I gave it, what it could, but because it was my calling, so I was at the end of nursing. I mean, I didn't know it was the end of nursing, but I was still nursing. It was a terrible, terrible time for so many reasons. And I did like a guided meditation, like looking for your soul's purpose or something like that. I'm like, what am I gonna do? I was in my fifties and I had tried many different types of nursing also thinking I'll just find my perfect spot. But that wasn't happening either. And so it was probably 2018. I did this guided meditation and I saw myself doing the hypnotherapy and I had almost forgotten about it.'cause it had been, so many years earlier that I went through that course and it just didn't work out. And then, but in that guided meditation, I saw myself doing it And just like very clearly, and I was like, oh, it's still there. this is showing me that I need to pursue this, you know, but In that guided meditation, in that visualization of myself, had a lotus tattoo on my chest and I was like, oh, that's interesting. I wasn't thinking of getting a tattoo or anything. So then it was just, you know, I just kind of kept that in the back of my mind while I was researching these different schools and where I was gonna go again to, train again and get my certifications and that. So then I put something up for sale on One of these groups that's for sale or for trade. So I put something up for sale and a tattoo artist said, would you take a tattoo for this? And I was like, well, there's my Lotus. You know? So that was part of it.

Eric 18:23

I do have a lot of questions in regards to the hypnotherapy. But prior to that, you said you had a mental breakdown, something that caused you all this distress. What were the flood of emotions you dealt with and, your mindset during that moment? was that in your mind the lowest that you had been?

Pamela topjian 18:41

Absolutely, absolutely. I was suicidal.

Eric 18:45

Oh.

Pamela topjian 18:46

highly anxious. I was having nightmares. was very fearful. I could barely function at the worst of it. And, so after that second divorce, and I told you how I left that second husband, I had to call the police to be able to get out safely. I had been knocked unconscious in that. And so, I was in Missouri. I tried to get some counseling or therapy and it just wasn't working out, and I was so confused because at that time I didn't realize that my childhood trauma. Was part of all of this leading up to this. It was like all of everything, my whole life led up to that moment and it was the first time I was alone and nobody was, I was not responsible for anybody at that time. So it was like my. mind and my soul and my body was just like, okay, now we can have this mental breakdown. it was like everything came crashing down and I just, but I didn't realize that at the time. I thought, I'm free now. I should be good. Everything should be great. Why is it going downhill? It should be going uphill. I didn't understand it, so I was beating myself up at the same time as going through this, you know, I was like, what's wrong with me? I thought everything would be great, but then it wasn't, that's when I got on the bus. It was exactly a year when I think about it now, At the end of June in 2016, I, had a friend who was coming to California because they were going through something really similar and they were like, Hey, I'm gonna be going to California just to like, start fresh and whatever. Maybe that's something you wanna do. And, I was like, ah, I don't know. maybe I don't know how that would work. So I started doing. research into what I could do California.'cause when you switch states in, nursing. It takes a long time to get your license switched from one state to another. Plus I was in such a mental state, I knew that I couldn't go there and start nursing right away.

Eric 20:50

yeah.

Pamela topjian 20:52

so I was looking into like caregiver jobs, house sitting, pet sitting, that kind of stuff. just things that I can have a place to live and work at the same time at the same place. so I told my landlord at the time, I said. know, I might be breaking the lease, I might be moving outta state. I just wanted to give you a heads up and kind of ask, you know, what I need to do for that process. And I didn't even know for sure I was going, it was just kind of like, maybe I might be doing this. And the landlord said, well, we were thinking of selling the house anyway'cause it was a small little house.

Eric 21:24

Oh,

Pamela topjian 21:25

could you be out in two weeks?

Eric 21:26

wow. Wow.

Pamela topjian 21:27

I just, that made my decision.

Eric 21:30

Hearing that, you know, you're now trying to find this new space in life for you, this new upcoming, you know, your statement was correct, you're free. Right? You have this opportunity to float and do what you want. And with that time, and you.

Pamela topjian 21:42

time.

Eric 21:43

I can't imagine just sitting there saying, you know, yes, I'm free. I've had this breakdown. I'm, I now have to figure this all out. That moving to a completely different space with nothing assured around you could have been easy. What were the next steps?

Pamela topjian 22:00

So first of all, I sold or got rid of absolutely everything. Even my car.

Eric 22:07

Wow.

Pamela topjian 22:08

I had a suitcase and a carry-on bag, and I did have a cedar chest kids' memories and stuff like that, that I left behind with a friend. things that I couldn't bring with me on the bus that I couldn't see getting rid of. So sold just about everything and it was a three day ride. So I arrived in California on 4th of July once I got on the bus on June 30th.

Eric 22:31

Wow.

Pamela topjian 22:32

And the night of June 30th. Think and, and arrived here. And, but I was, was numb. You know, people are like, you know, you were so brave or whatever, and it's like, no, I was really crazy. I wasn't brave, I was just numb. You know?

Eric 22:47

Wow.

Pamela topjian 22:47

didn't think, I just was like. Going through the motions. I was still in that horrible state. You know, I didn't care if anything happened to me. Like, everybody's like, be safe, be careful. You know, I'm kind of little. I'm five one. I was 50 years old and I was going on a bus for a three day ride on my own.

Eric 23:08

Wow.

Pamela topjian 23:09

and so everybody was like. You know, be careful. And I was like, I don't even care if something happens to me because I'm doing this to save my life because

Eric 23:17

Yeah.

Pamela topjian 23:18

already just that close to ending my life. So I got on that bus instead. So it was really a last ditch effort to save my life. a lot of times people say that the reason they didn't go through with it was because of their children, but for me, I had a sister that was killed in a car accident when she was 18 and

Eric 23:38

Oh.

Pamela topjian 23:38

was just turning 14. I didn't wanna do that to my mother. it was my mother. I didn't want her to lose another kid, you know? So that's. What stopped me from doing that and hanging on and trying, keeping on, trying to do something to keep myself alive. I was just numb the whole ride And so when I got there, this is the part that I'm not gonna get into too much. I've written two books about, one, the whole thing, and then the second book is a memoir on my nursing career. And I'm writing another one on what happened when I came to California. But I found myself in a situation.

Eric 24:14

Oh no.

Pamela topjian 24:14

and yeah, it was like a predator situation, but it was only three weeks I got out of that

Eric 24:20

Wow.

Pamela topjian 24:20

was so proud of myself for getting out of that. I felt like, wow, that was the first time that I felt like, even though getting on the bus was really something I did for me to help save me, but just getting out of that was also. Empowering, It was empowering to myself. It's like, wow, I can do something good, for myself. so then I worked in a couple different places there was a residential care home, not as a nurse, but just like a caregiver. And then from there I went to, this woman whose mother had died and the mother had had, multiple pets. She had pets of her own. She was working full time. She had to get the house ready for sale. so, I stayed with her and I took care of the pets and I helped her pack and go through things and paint and everything. It was the perfect setup And so when I got therapy too, and when I found out and realized that my childhood was, neglectful and all these things that had happened in my childhood. A lot of childhood trauma, different things that happened. really affected me and led me on the track that I was, and it's like, this is what got me here, what got me here, what got me here? It's like, it just connecting all those dots and so that first book that I wrote was really started out as a journal to help me remember everything and to help me connect those dots. But also I thought, you know, with the book, I thought If those suicidal thoughts did win out, then my kids would have something to say, oh, this is what happened. Oh, this is what mom was going through, you know? So they would kind of know if I wasn't able to, if the therapy wasn't helping.

Eric 26:03

I'm glad that you see your total worth and your value in yourself, and

Pamela topjian 26:07

Thank you.

Eric 26:08

just how strong you are through this process. Did you notice that maybe you were running into people similar to yourself? Were you finding connections in people that were coming to you and you had some similarities or just some kind of common things that happened in between?

Pamela topjian 26:23

There were quite a lot of clients that I had in hypnotherapy that were dealing with childhood traumas,

Eric 26:29

Mm-hmm.

Pamela topjian 26:30

and I don't think they knew that, you know, you don't talk about yourself, in their

Eric 26:34

Mm-hmm.

Pamela topjian 26:35

there were a lot of people that, gravitated towards me, I think I present, calmly and, trustworthy many people have said to me, I just feel like I can trust you. I could say anything to you. and it's true. a lot of people would come to me with childhood trauma or they were dealing with something and they didn't realize until we got into it in hypnotherapy. They didn't realize, oh, it was something from my childhood that really caused me to. Spiral into whatever it is they're coming to me for. So in that sense, yeah. you know, so many women go through abusive relationships. So many people have childhood trauma and it's just like all too common. A lot of people don't talk about what's happened to them or what they're going through, and that's part of why I wrote the book and part of why I go on podcasts and talk about it, because people need to know that they're not alone and people need to know that you can get better. I mean, I think it's very, clear that I am, you know, I don't wanna say I'm healed, but I mean, you know that my life is. So much better than it ever was really. And it continues to get better and better all the time, which amazes me still, you know?

Eric 27:42

Yeah, of course. and you have that. Again, I'm very happy that I get to speak with you in this moment. I'm glad that, that last straw wasn't cut short. It's fantastic that you're still around and you're able to help so many people. and I do hope that, you see that daily where, in the smaller things where you're just watching someone's animal. Giving them peace of mind in that moment. But I know, I feel like you definitely have helped many, many other people in many different ways. and I think there's a lot of people walking around here now that are thankful for you.

Pamela topjian 28:12

you.

Eric 28:12

Of course, but unfortunately, women are in horrible relationships that they're trapped and stuck in and it's very difficult for them to get out of. And, the ones that do get out sometimes they struggle to find that peace and that wholeness. So being able to. Hopefully, that's the goal with this as well, is to,

Pamela topjian 28:30

Mm-hmm.

Eric 28:31

make sure everybody understands that they're not alone. you are a shining example of how it will always get better. When it comes to what you're doing now, obviously you're still, you have your business running where you're taking care of animals. you're sitting for them, but your YouTube channel on your podcast, please tell me how that's going and what you're kind of running through there.

Pamela topjian 28:48

so I started the YouTube channel because. That was one of the things that I was trying to help people with hypnotherapy. So I have a whole playlist of guided visualizations and guided

Eric 29:00

Yes. Yeah.

Pamela topjian 29:02

I was trying to let people, if people were a little skeptical or a little unsure, I was like. have a few guided visualizations on my YouTube channel. You can listen to a couple of'em or not, and you're in control. You can turn it off anytime and you can kind of get a feel for what it would be like. it's not exactly the same, but it's very similar. So, you know, it'd just be more personal and personable. you know, if we had a session. And also, people who maybe couldn't afford it. you know, it's like I will create one and put it on my YouTube channel. That's somewhat partic, you know, particular to what you're going through or what I would do with you. Of course, again, not real personal. and then you can use that instead, I was starting to get people saying, it's no good with an ad in the middle, it's like I have no control. how can you listen to a guided visualization and then all of a sudden, you're getting an ad for something. so I was trying to grow the YouTube channel thinking of what else can I do on there until I can get it to a point where. can have control of over the ads in the middle of a guided visualization. so then I started just doing other videos, like vlogging, talking about, I was taking other classes. I was talking about what I was learning. I was talking about all kinds of different subjects on there, self-help, self-care types of things. and then I decided once I decided I wasn't going to do hypnotherapy anymore. I thought I'm gonna have other practitioners come on and talk about what they do and explain what they do, and it was just gonna be a feature on my YouTube channel. I never thought I would be podcasting.

Eric 30:44

Really.

Pamela topjian 30:45

so I just started inviting people on and I've got guests lined up for weeks ahead. So it really caught on. so then like after just a few guests were on, people started calling it a podcast, so then I got it up on podcast platforms, and now the episodes are on YouTube in a playlist for Holistic Connections. Holistic Connections, conversations with holistic Practitioners, just exactly what the title says. And so now it's on different podcast platforms New episodes come out every Sunday,

Eric 31:18

Mm.

Pamela topjian 31:18

but in between, I do a solo video. Almost every Wednesday I put up a solo video, and it's, sometimes it's on childhood trauma, sometimes it's on, people pleasing, sometimes it's on just, you know, what is holistic health, you know? And sometimes it's more of a vlogging thing, like, Talking about parts of my life or, or I did a couple on the experience of writing my books and, just so that playlist that I do a solo video in between each podcast there's a playlist for that, that is like self-help, self-care information and vlog. So yeah, a little bit of everything,

Eric 31:59

It's easy guidance. If I know what I'm looking for, it'd be easy to just run through it Well, Pamela, I could sit here and talk to you all day, every day. I mean, this has been fantastic. I appreciate you taking the time to come on and speak with me about this. And there's honestly a lot more that I want to get into down the line. But I think honestly, a lot of my questions could. be answered listening to your podcast or your YouTube channel. So I definitely don't wanna bore you with stuff that you've already answered at least 70 times on your shows.'cause I could be like, holistics, huh? How does that break down? I'm sure you've dealt with them your whole life. but more than anything, I, I appreciate you taking the time to come on here. Talk just the smallest bit about your life, and, and connecting with at least somebody who can relate to what you've been through and the journey that you're going on and you're, you're continuing on right now. If, if there's one thing, if this was the last thing you ever said on earth, what would you tell people that are listening?

Pamela topjian 33:01

nobody can do it for you. Nobody can heal you. Nobody can take those steps for you, but you don't have to go it alone, reach out. there's so many different types of therapies. Treatments and methods, or just psychotherapy or regular talk therapy or counseling. Reach out, start telling your story. There's no shame. it's not your fault, and you're not less of a person because of what happened to you or because of what you've been through. There's always hope,

33:38

I have to say, there's something incredibly grounding about hearing a story like Pamela's, not because it's easy to listen to, but because it's, it's real. It reminds us that healing isn't linear, and it doesn't come from one place, one system, or even one solution. Pamela's journey shows us that even in the darkest moments when everything feels like it's collapsing, there's still a path forward. It, it might not be clear. It might not be comfortable, but it's there. If there's one thing to take away from this conversation, it's this. You don't have to do it alone, but you do have to take that first step, whether that's reaching out, speaking your truth, or simply acknowledging that something needs to change. If this episode resonated with you, make sure to check out Pamela's work, uh, including her podcast, holistic Connections. Where she continues these conversations with practitioners and explorers, different paths to healing. Uh, also her YouTube. Feel free to search her name. Pamela Tophin. That's T-O-P-J-I-A-N. I mean, I guess you could just look at the show notes too, because I'm gonna have that there as well as her books behind the mask, gloves and Scrubs. One Nurse's Journey. And I didn't come this far to only come this far. A true story of my own journey through a life of betrayal, abuse, and neglect. To one of peace, love, and freedom. As always, if you found value in this episode, please share it with somebody who might need to hear it, or somebody who just enjoys the stories of others. And if you're interested of joining the podcast, maybe you have a story you wanna tell. Doesn't have to be deep, doesn't have to be intense, doesn't have to be emotional. Maybe you just wanna talk and you just need someone to listen. Please feel free to shoot me an email. Here for you pod, HEAR, the number four Y-L-U-P-O d@gmail.com. I would love to talk to you, so thank you so much for listening, and I'll talk to you soon. Okay.